So last night I finished one of my wedding guide books (mentioned in a previous post) and the final chapter was about after the wedding, the marriage. It suddenly really hit me. I’m not just planning a big, fabulous party for my closest family and friends, I’m planning to spend the rest of my LIFE with this person!
I guess I’ve been so caught up in “wedding” that I haven’t given much thought to the “marriage”. Not that I’m having second thoughts or anything, not at all, but the weight of this decision to marry has only now really sunk in.
Let’s face it, your wedding day is really just one out 365 in a year, right? Yes, it’s your BIG DAY, but it has 24 hours in it just like every other day, and the only thing that changes is at the end of it, you’re legally married. A wedding lasts a few hours whereas a marriage, we all hope, lasts a lifetime.
I have never felt completely committed to anyone that I’ve been in a long term relationship with. I tried to, but some little part of me always had “one foot out the door” so to speak. For many years in my twenties, I thought I’d never get married, I never wanted to “settle down”. Looking back, I think I just didn’t want to settle. And I’m glad I didn’t.
I guess this is my first case of pre-wedding jitters. I think my self-confidence gets in the way sometimes; can I trust that I will continue to be a good partner? Or worry, that familiar friend. What if it doesn’t work out, what if we fall out of love, what if we get a divorce?
Well, what if? Will I let my doubts get in the way of true love? NO WAY! Even if we part ways at some point, will it all have been worth it? Heck, YES!
I’m prepared to plan the most fabulous wedding I can, but from here on out I’m going to try to not forget what I’m doing all this for- to marry my lover and best friend.
Do you think everyone gets some pre-wedding jitters?