So I haven’t been blogging much lately. Caring for a newborn baby can get in the way of things like that. I’m only two months in, so admittedly, I’m still on a steep learning curve. However, my wife and I do feel like we have a handle on some things; at the very least, we are feeling like we are getting into a rhythm and it’s pretty good.
But there are definitely aspects of my new job that I’m not too crazy about. So while my adorable tiny beast is napping, I want to vent a little.
1. The verbal abuse. Maybe I’m weird, but I don’t like it when someone screams at me. But now I have to put up with a boss who, if he gets hungry or cranky, pulls himself up to his full 22 inch height and BELLOWS at me until he’s reddish purple in the face. To make things more
stressful interesting, he and I don’t speak the same language, so I am constantly trying to translate. Usually what he wants is my breasts however, which also makes this whole scenario borderline sexual harassment.
2. I am now a 24 hour human buffet. It’s wonderful and all that I can nourish my baby the way nature intended, with the “liquid gold” that flows from my breasts, but wow it takes up a lot of my day (and night). For someone whose stomach is apparently the size of a walnut, he sure spends A LOT of time feeding. Good thing I have a comfy chair, a breastfeeding pillow, and books, magazines and my iPhone to occupy myself. What? WiFi is dangerous to infants? Screw you.
3. It’s a dirty job. If you saw a job posting for a 24/7/365 live-in caregiver that required you to deal with human excrement, urine, drool, and (if you’re really lucky) vomitus with no overtime, stat pay, or holiday bonuses, would you apply? Just the other day my baby spit up on my freshly laundered shirt in the morning, and leaked pee and poop on my pants in the afternoon (two different occasions- glad I didn’t bother changing my pants the first time). Motherhood is NOT glamorous.
4. Date nights look a lot different. My wife and I established our Friday date night tradition years ago. Whether we actually went out for a nice dinner or night of dancing or just stayed in and ate nachos and watched a movie, we always did something fun together. Nowadays, Friday date night involves us entertaining our baby while he sits in his swing so we can eat our dinner with both hands, then maybe catching up on Modern Family before it’s bath time and I’m in the glider nursing him to sleep for an hour. If that works (and sometimes it doesn’t), we then fall into bed, exhausted, or she’s already asleep by the time I hit the pillow. Sexy time? Not so much.
5. It’s all my fault. Suddenly, I’m blaming myself for everything. Baby is gassy? Must be something I ate or drank. He won’t fall asleep? My fault for keeping him up too late. I thought I’d be immune to the ubiquitous Mommy guilt, but apparently not. Can’t I at least share the blame with my wife? There’s two Moms in this house!
6. Not enough sleep. It’s cliché , but it’s true. I love sleep. And I really shouldn’t complain because by definition my baby sleeps through the night- which is 5 hours in a row. Yaaaay… So forgive me if I don’t have the energy for Mom and Baby Pilates or Stroller Boot-camp in the park (even though I do need to work off my remaining pregnancy pudge. Oh joy!).
7. I feel incompetent. Normally I’m a confident, capable woman. Since having the baby I now doubt myself more and question my knowledge (I’ve never done this before!) and intuition (this feels right but the books say no?). I don’t know how to navigate the unfamiliar feeling of being responsible for another human! Being a new Mom is probably the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, and I can’t just walk away and quit when it’s tough. It’s a good thing the hospital doesn’t have a return or exchange policy…
Okay, okay, enough sarcasm. Besides, we haven’t even hit the really rough patches yet- like teething, the terrible twos and teenage years! (shudder)
Yes I love my baby and I count my blessings every day that we are both healthy, live in a peaceful part of the world, and I get to raise my child in a solid and loving partnership.
I love it when he smiles, coos and giggles. I love seeing him adapt and grow. I love how strangers smile at me more. I love how much stronger my connections are to my family and friends. I love being a member of the Mommy club now. And I LOVE not being pregnant anymore- which really, let’s be honest, is the second-best gift you get after your baby. 😉